My landlord is a real deal mobster!!! I love it!!!
No, it's not because he's Italian, though that certainly helped the image. I have proof.
I think he's laundering money through our rent. Our monthly contract rent is a full $400 less than what we really pay... and it's not just us, it's the whole building. He had us sign another contract under the table with our real rent... but that's on the down low.
He showed up to sign the contract with a bodyguard in black and shades. Slowly he lowered his rotund body into a chair across the table, picked at his face and gestured behind himself, "this is my friend V."
V grunted and crossed his hands behind his back. V did not sit. I don't think V is allowed to sit.
From what I gathered from the neighbors, he gave us the same suspicious beat down as everyone else.
Regarding my passport: "Is this thing real?"
Time to think: "you sign this today... NOW."
When we tried to barter: "How do you afford NYU if you have no money, you think I'm stupid? IS that what you think?"
Trying to be funny, I tried to ask him innocently about his creative money management. He waved his hand, "awwww, don't worry about it, it's all taken care of."
V, Still wearing his shades, crossed his arms and grunted.
I know I should be scared, but I could hardly stop laughing. It's just so stereotypical. It's as if they used the Godfather as the family training video for new recruits. I can imagine the multiple choice portion of their initiation:
Virgil request the Don to protect the Tattaglia family's potential:
A. Protection business
B. Heroine business
C. Smuggling business
D. Apartment business
E. Loan business
I guess I should be taking this a lot more seriously. After all, everything in New York tend to be magnified several times in terms of everything. The skinny are anorexic, the chubby are obese, the rich very rich, and the poor very, very poor. Whereas landlords everywhere else would chuck your stuff out for not paying your rent, the mobster New York landlords will probably stuff you in a suitcase and feed you to the mutant fishes in the East River.
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