He's My Brandy Alexander, Always Gets Me into Trouble...

Right now I'm really confused. I can hardly figure out what I should think...

I have spent almost every single evening with my best friend T, who I think I might have a thing for.

Two nights ago, we sat in the park and nursed bottles of beer. When I got cold, he took me in his arms and kept me warm. It was such an affectionate gesture that for a moment I forgot all about the mess with him, his girlfriend and the my friend who liked him...

When he left me that night, I couldn't stop thinking... so I texted him, half tipsy, telling him that I am confused.

He asked why; I had no answer.

Last night, we studied together for the GRE and then went onto the roof of my apartment with a bottle of wine and got really tipsy. He held me in his arms the entire night and wouldn't let me fall asleep. Every time I dozed off with my head against his chest he would gently lift my chin with his fingers and wake me up. He kept asking why I was confused. I know he knows, but he wanted to drag it out of me, a blatant confession. 

Nice try, but my walls are way to high to let that happened. 

It was freezing cold on the roof that night, but somehow it didn't matter that much. I was just happy in his arms. We eventually migrated back to my bed and he spent the night with me.

No, we didn't sleep together.

I think he's one of the few close guy friend I have that I have not hooked up with drunkenly at one point or another. In all truth, I feel closer to him than I do to anyone else in this city. I think that is one of the main things that keeps him behind a glass wall for me. He's the thing that made this city bearable for me when I was desperate and in pain. I don't want to lose him.

Though you know what I love most of him
I'm walking on needles and pins
My addiction to the worst of him
The low moon helps me sing.